“It took him so long to say sorry until he was dying of AIDS”

Rosie comes from a mixed parentage of Central and Madang Chinese. She is a proud mother of three handsome young boys and is currently in a steady relationship. Rosie works with a recognized finance company in Port Moresby and holds the position of the Executive Secretary to the Managing Director.
Rosie’s Life story of her and her high school sweet heart encompasses a wide range of issues faced by many female teenagers that experience love at school, give love for sex and would do anything to be with her first true love but only ends up living a sad love reality.
Rosie’s story was featured on TRIBAL AFFAIRS ON HIV/AIDS a HIV youth radio advocacy program that is produced by WANTOK Media Productions and broadcasted every Sundays on FM 100.
Rosie completed her grade 10 certificate at Marianville High School in 1992 and was flown by her parents to Madang to further her education at the Divine Word Institute (now Divine Word University) in 2003. Rosie had an ambition to be a chef however her father wanted her to be a Secretary, thus, he sent her to Madang to complete her secondary education then to take up secretarial studies.
She was a student from Port Moresby and her resemblance was more Papuan with very light skinned, nice eyes and very beautiful at the age of 17. It was a norm during that time at the school she was attending that girls from Port Moresby were fearless and would do anything that any girl would think twice about doing at school says Rosie during the show.
Patrick is the name of her school sweet heart that was from Morobe and at that time continuing his studies in Communication Arts. He was a very tall, handsome boy and also a soccer star thus, he was “the man” that every girl in school wanted to be with. He noticed Rosie’s beauty and wanted to be her man.

Rosie a girl from Port Moresby knew that she was capable of having a date with Patrick because she was beautiful and most guys wanted her. She also knew that female students from POM can do anything so she began dating Patrick.
During the show she reminiscence in shy smiles about the fun they had as couples dating in school, the rides into town, the weekends they spent enjoying each other’s company. After dating she’d come back to her peers and tell them about what she and Patrick did and her peers would all be excited than the others in the group would also tell their stories of their dating. She then tells us briefly on the show that her first sexual intercourse with Patrick was unplanned as it was the heat of the moment and because” I was a student from Port Moresby and I didn’t want him to think that I was chicken”, she says it with smiles. So she gave sex for love.

Her love life at school sadly ended when Rosie’s Mom made a surprise trip into Madang and told her that she had to leave school because they were informed by the relatives in Madang that she was having a relationship and was having fun instead of studying. Rosie pleaded with her mom about her exams coming up and school was almost ending but all her begging were in vain. She tells us that when she arrived at the Madang Airport with her mom she began to check the flight schedule if it was making a stop at Nadzab Morobe so she could escape into Lae and find Patrick’s family. She was madly in love with Patrick and craved to be with him however the flight was direct to Port Moresby so her plan was unsuccessful.
In Port Moresby she was advised by her parents to rethink her future and in the meantime babysit her younger siblings while at home. She thought it was unfair that her education was cut off and her love life was shattered and now she has to stay home and babysit. So she decided to become very rebellious and spends most her time listening to blasted Metal music. She chose this music because it was Patrick’s type of music and every time she heard it she felt close to him. She started consuming alcohol and drugs behind her parents back, she said, this was an avenue to relieve the stress of not being with Patrick.

During her dating with Patrick they had planned about their future after studies and he told her that he after completing studies he would be in Port Moresby to do his job training with the National Broadcasting Commission (now Cooperation).
During the period when she was rebellious she knew that very soon her school sweet heart will come to Port Moresby so she sneaked out of the house when her parents went to work and go to NBC to find out if Patrick had started work. Finally after two months of checking she met up with Patrick and they both cried and cuddled each other and she now felt happy because he was now in town. She constantly sneaked out of home during weekdays to spend time with Patrick during his lunch break.  Their meetings became obvious and word reached her parents.

Rosie’s father was a very aggressive person at that time and was very furious about the news so he kept picking on Rosie every time he came back from work. He didn’t know how to approach his rebellious daughter and he was also afraid that she might end up being pregnant. So all he did was pick on her started calling her names and often called her a bitch says Rosie. She remembers that it was one afternoon when her father returned and started yelling at her and continuously called her a Bitch and told her to leave home and never use her name. Rosie say that at that instance she decided to become a bitch and she would leave home and never return.

She moved out of home and stayed with her aunt who had a flat and was a year older than her. Rosie on the other hand was excited that she had freedom to spend more time with Patrick without being hassled by her father. Love began to bloom beautifully for Rosie and Patrick because he moved into her aunt’s flat to live with them. She stopped taking drugs and alcohol and concentrated on building her love life they began to have unsafe sex says Rosie. She tells the show that during that time they both just wanted to enjoy their time together and didn’t consider having safe sex. She said that she depended on Patrick’s knowledge when it came to sex. She then pauses on the show and says it was a really risky behavior but it was fun.
Everything was working really well for the two love birds until Rosie’s mom makes another surprise visit to the flat and tells Rosie to leave with her immediately for home. She resisted but was forced to go back home and hurriedly said only goodbye to Patrick. His job training with NBC was over and he flew back to Morobe to be with his parents. “I was back at home behind iron curtains” she says. Rosie’s home has security gutters over its fencing so she likes to call it iron curtains.

At home she felt the she was experiencing changes in her reproductive health so she recorded in her diary the changes that she was going through. Rosie’s Mom also had a lot of books about female reproductive health in which Rosie utilized to find about the changes she was going through she smiled again and said she had never done so much reading in her whole life. She then went to the clinic and confirmed that she was pregnant.
“At that time I was going to church I believed that God was gonna help me even though I wasn’t a good person God never gave up on anyone”. She was afraid of her father and didn’t know how to approach him about her pregnancy and her mom knew to but because of her father’s temper they both were afraid to tell him. She went to confession and told the Parish priest of her situation and asked him if he could tell her dad so he agreed to do so. The priest invited her father for breakfast one morning and told him the news of Rosie’s situation and her father just hung his head down and cried while the priest counseled him on how to handle the situation.

When he returned home after the day’s work Rosie was so nervous that she rushed to spread the mat on the made shift bed under the trees in their yard so that he could rest. I did not know what to think or say I just tried to be good to him because he didn’t say anything. I was so afraid because he was quiet he didn’t say anything the whole weekend until on Tuesday when he decided to come out with it but he did it by just belting me up and crying. Mom came to Dad and told him to stop and just accept my situation and allow me to have the child so he stopped. After the belting I just kept on saying sorry to dad until I slept.
Her parents were now worried if Patrick would accept her situation and come to Port Moresby and she also worried to about that because she knew that her parents hated Patrick so she continued to confide in her diary about her feeling every day. She did this so that when she unites with Patrick she can show him what she was going through during that time.
Patrick was in Lae and unemployed and didn’t know about Rosie’s situation and Rosie was anxious in Port Moresby about her future with Patrick about his family acceptance of her situation and if she was going to move to Lae and stay with him she just lived in anxieties.
Her family was very helpful and father came to accept the fact that he was going to be a granny so he and his wife supported Rosie until she gave birth and the grandfather was given the privilege to name the first grandson Nelson.

After delivery Rosie looked after Nelson during his infancy and when he was feeding on powder milk she found a job and got in touch with Patrick’s mom and told her. Patrick’s parents disapproved and told Rosie that it was another man’s child and not their son’s child. Rosie made another attempt by sending Nelson’s photos to them and they realized that the child looked exactly like their son so they flew him Port Moresby to unite with his new family.
Patrick was welcomed happily into the Rosie’s family and was offered a job by Rosie’s father who had that time had a small construction company. He and Rosie were happy to be united and also with their new child. Patrick began to apply out for a job and was finally accepted by the National Broadcasting Commission to work as a reporter with radio central one of NBC provincial branch.
He proved to be a very hardworking journalist and was moved back to the Headquarters where he was assigned to look after newsroom’s general rounds.  Rosie had to leave her job because she was now expecting their second child. Patrick was offered a posting in Kavieng New Ireland Province by NBC so he took his family and including the arrival of the second son.
They were given a house to live in and Rosie wasted no time and started to build their new home with so much love. However, Patrick’s attitude changed he started having frequent drink outs and because he was a reporter he was invited by many organizations and individuals in Kavieng. Rosie was left at home with her sons every night without Patrick until the early hours of the morning when he returned home very drunk and started arguments with Rosie for no reason.

It was almost Christmas that time and Patrick sent his wife and the kids to Port Moresby to spend the holidays with her parents after spending the break they flew back to Kavieng and Rosie could feel that the house had changed. She could feel that her bed was used by another female so she burnt all the beddings and washed down the house. Her husband continued his drinking and this time he invited his friends every pay weekends and drank the whole Saturday then left home in the afternoon and came back in the early hours of Sunday morning and the violent abuse got even worse. “Sometimes when he returned home drunk as usual he’d bash me up really badly then force me to have sex with him”, He kept drumming into me that without him I was nothing, she says while sobbing during the show."
The marriage was slowly eroding and Rosie and her sons sometimes would go hungry and the neighbors got use to hearing Rosie been bashed every night when Patrick returned home drunk. She was feeling lost because every time she tried to ensure that he doesn’t get upset he’d still find a way to point out a failure and hit her. Their sons would hide in their room crying while their parents fought.

Rosie began to look for avenues to escape her husband’s violent behavior she remembers that all she could do at that time was talk to God in prayer to help her and her sons. So one Sunday she took her sons to church while Patrick was drunk and asleep and there she met with a Catholic bishop and she confided in him. The Bishop advised her to take her sons and return back to Port Moresby. She was surprised when he told her that, because she thought he was going to say that he’d talk to Patrick but the Bishop said I am sorry but your husband will not change and if you continue to stay on you will end up in a lot of trouble.
She and her sons left the bishop and went home and she was worried because even though Patrick treated her badly she loved him but she knew that the Bishop was right. She had no money and no way to communicate with her family back in Port Moresby.
It was afternoon when she packed up the courage to runaway so she packed her sons belongings and moved them over to her next doors house and told them that she’d be back for them until she finds a way to fly them to Port Moresby.

She went to the Bishop’s residence and pleaded if he could help her contact her family in Port Moresby so he assisted her and she reached her brother in law and told him of her situation and she needed assistance. She left the bishop’s home and spent a night with a family down the road which she had made friends with.
The next day Patrick sent word out to the police to search for his wife he informed them that she had stole his ATM Card and therefore she must be caught. For two weeks Rosie hid with that family with the same pair of jeans and T-shirt until her in-law brother arrived and helped her. They went to Rosie's house and searched for the boys but their father had taken them to work with him.
Her brother in law rebooked their flight from the afternoon and delayed for another two days however during those two days nobody in Kavieng was helpful and Rosie was denied from her sons so she had no choice but fly to Port Moresby without her sons because she didn’t want to delay her in-law’s time.

The story continues when Rosie arrives in Port Moresby and fights a custody battle for her sons then gets into another difficult relationship with another man who helped her unite with her sons and then she finds out about Patrick’s HIV Status.

Call BAHA 325 2852 or 325 9228 7200 2242 (ask for Rosie's Audio) for us to arrange with Wantok Media Production for you to get the full audio mp3 version of Rosie's story and the script on CD for K30.00